Why “Telling Your Story” Isn’t Enough: The Power of Story Shaping vs. Storytelling
- jeffmotter
- May 6
- 3 min read
Interested in learning more about speechwriting and public speaking courses? Find my courses here.
Telling your story is not the same as shaping your message.
And if you're a thought leader, simply retelling what happened won’t cut it. Not if you want to move people. Not if you want your ideas to live beyond the moment.
Because here’s the truth:
A story that ends with you isn’t leadership. It’s a diary.
That might sound harsh, but stay with me. Because there’s a more powerful way to use your story. One that lifts the audience instead of spotlighting the speaker. One that doesn’t just say what happened, but reveals why it matters.
That is the work of story shaping.
The Problem with “Tell Your Story” Advice
“Tell your story” is one of the most popular pieces of advice given to speakers, entrepreneurs, executives, and change agents. And on the surface, it’s not wrong.
Our stories are meaningful. But what often happens is this:
We share what we’ve lived through.
We explain what we learned.
We wait for applause.
And sometimes? That’s where the connection dies.
Because the moment was never shaped for the audience. It was never reframed for resonance. The speaker shared a journal entry when the audience needed a mirror.
Great stories don’t just inform. They transform.
Storytelling vs Story Shaping
What's the difference between the two?
Storytelling is often about reliving. It’s personal, chronological, and focused on what you experienced.
Story shaping is about relating. It’s intentional, audience-centered, and designed to create meaning for them.
A storyteller might say:
“I had to rebuild everything after my business failed.”
A story shaper reframes:
“You ever wake up and realize the thing you worked years to build… was never actually built for you?”
That second version? That’s not just about the speaker. It’s about us. That’s the pivot.
Story shaping is the craft of turning your life’s material into a message that serves the audience’s moment. It’s not dishonest—it’s deliberate. And it’s the difference between “nice story” and “I saw myself in that.”
The Three Moves of a Story Shaper
To move from storytelling to story shaping, you need to make three key moves:
1. Extract the Universal
Don’t just tell us what happened. Show us what’s human about it. Ask:
What belief got challenged?
What emotion was universal?
What inner conflict mirrors what others face?
This is where your story stops being about you and starts being for us.
2. Structure for Impact
Story shaping isn’t a free-flowing memory. It’s designed. It’s shaped around an insight or tension that builds toward resonance. Think in terms of:
What tension can I build?
What perspective am I shifting?
What moment will stay with them after I stop speaking?
Sometimes that means editing out great details to make room for a clearer message.
3. Deliver a Transferable Truth
Don’t just end with “...and that’s how I got through it.”Ask yourself: What’s the takeaway they can carry into their own lives?
This is the heartbeat of thought leadership: helping others see differently, act differently, be differently. You’re not just sharing your journey. You’re offering a map.
This is the Work of a Thought Leader
If you're trying to build a platform, make the world better, or offer a message that shifts how people see the world, then storytelling is the starting point. But story shaping is what gives it legs.
Thought leaders don’t just share. They shape.
They shape moments into meaning. Experiences into insight. Stories into signals.
And they do it so that others don’t just nod their heads, but move their feet.
So next time someone says, “Tell your story,” consider this your cue to ask something deeper:
What do I want this story to do for them?
Because stories aren’t just told.They're built.They're shaped.And if you do it well?They don’t just remember you—they remember themselves in what you said.
And that, my friend, is how change begins.
